We Can’t Go Back In Time-The Door Is Closed Forever: Remember Magic Moments & Look Ahead For More
Posted: Thursday, September 29, 2011
by Fran Larson
http://www.franniesquotes.com/
Most of the time when you work in a Doctor’s Office, there is more than plenty to do. If you do your job thoroughly, you would find yourself staying after everyone has left; you would be calling in prescriptions and giving patients their lab work results as well as getting charts prepared for the next day.
That’s why this day was so eerily strange. I was so caught up and could find nothing to do. The charts were ready for the next day; the phone calls had been done; all insurance had been filed. I was restless and bored. The strange thing was that we were so organized and caught up and yet Dr. X was interviewing two young blonde young ladies, who were filling out application forms. Usually, Dr. X tells me everything that is going on in the office. We have always had that kind of working relationships. We could almost read each other’s minds.
The walls began to close in on me. I decided to get some fresh air and take a walk. That may sound strange, but if I was caught up on my work, Dr. X didn’t mind, as long as someone was there to take the phone calls. I grabbed my jacket and asked Viv if she would answer the telephone for a few minutes, while I got some fresh air.
I walked my usual route. The Florida air was just crisp and cooling, not biting cold, even in January. I passed the familiar shops and absently gazed in the shop windows for something, maybe some kind of clue?
This job with Dr. X was my favorite job of all times. Actually, it was so meaningful, if I didn’t get paid, it would be OK. Viv, Dr. X and our nurse, Bonnie were family. Spending at least 8 hours a day with these people; decorating the Christmas tree together; being treated like royalty on our birthday all added up to family. Dr. X provided the money for Viv to buy groceries. She would stock up on my favorite Kraft Caramels and Winn Dixie Pimento Cheese, crackers, fruit, cookies – you name it and Viv would buy it.
I suddenly realized I had walked a good mile. Viv and Dr. X may be wondering what happened to me. I turned around and started back to the office by the same route I got there. I went by the same shops with the same things in the shop windows. I still hadn't figured out what was going on, but my pace got faster as I neared the office.
What? Had I gone mad? My heart was pounding. Am I having some kind of nervous breakdown? The office wasn’t there. I do have this “sense of direction” problem, so maybe I actually didn’t come back the same route, after all?
I tried to calm myself and decided to go back to the shops and come back the correct route. Apparently, I told myself, even though everything looked familiar, I must have gone back to the office a different route…no big deal, I will just find out where I made a wrong turn.
OK. I am back to the place where I turned around. Now, I am going to take the alternate route through a couple of the alleys, just like Viv and I do when we want to shorten our noon walk. Yes, that’s right. Dr. X allows us to take a walk after lunch, while the phones are still on recording.
I walked faster and faster, as my heart seemed to be beating faster and faster. If I were going mad, would anyone notice? Would Dr. X and Viv miss me after a while? At last I am at 804 Kentucky St, but guess what, the office isn’t there! The Ester Lab Office, which is adjacent to our office, is there and the Worldwide X-Ray Office is there, which is our other neighbor, but Dr. X’s office is not there. It is nowhere to be seen. I go around the block two more times and it is still not there. I am frantic because I realize now that I must be going mad. I feel so all alone. Is this what madness feels like? I panic. I start to scream. I could hear myself screaming and did not even recognize my own voice.
Wait, it isn’t a scream – it is more of a whine…It is a pitiful whine that keeps getting louder and louder.
I look at the clock. No wonder little Cody is hungry. It is almost 8:00a.m. I drag myself out of bed and let Cody out of his cage. He licks my feet, while I pour his food in his dish.
As he eats and I sip my coffee, I feel myself coming to life and then I remember my dream. Suddenly, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt the meaning of my dream. It is crystal clear to me, as I gaze at the woodpecker doing it’s job on the chinaberry tree.
My dream was teaching me that you couldn’t ever go back in time (to stay). The moment has passed. It has all disappeared.; just like Dr. X’s office. The best job I ever had in my life is just a distant memory now, but a happy memory.
Look not mournfully into the past. It comes not back again. Wisely improve the present. It is thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy future, without fear.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807 - 1882)
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Top-level comments on this article: (6 total)Quite a dream you had Fran
I often wonder about dreams. Some are realistic and some are fragmented. I can see that yours was very vivid and purposeful. Well written as always. Superb job!
Doesn't it just figure they'd be young blondes? :) I enjoyed this one Fran and can relate, I miss my old job too.
Dreams hold so much insight into ourselves, but I rarely dream. Too bad. Great article.
Good story great writing. We can never go backwards that is for sure.
Yes, it was easy to read and kept my attention. Very well done. Why the italics where it was? I'd think maybe the waking part would be a different script.
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