Lady Gaga Cries Over Death Of Jamie Rodemeyer, Who Said “It Gets Better:” Can Bullying Be Governed?
Posted: Friday, September 23, 2011
by Fran Larson
http://www.franniesquotes.com/
Recently, Lady Gaga tweeted ““Jamey Rodemeyer, 14 yrs old, took his life because of bullying. Bullying must become illegal;" Lady Gaga said she’s been sobbing, musing, and shouting since the tormented 14-year-old’s Sunday death.
Lady Gaga wants bullying to be a government offense. Most of us, who care about children just want bullying to stop, but I am not sure if morals or common sense can be legislated. Where would you draw the lines between bullying and free speech (for example, on FaceBook)?
Please don’t misunderstand, I am very upset about bullying and weary of reading about these poor children and teens in America that commit suicide. Our children are dying; they are suffering. What could be more tragic?
Our supreme court may eventually have to decide what is “free speech” and what is bullying? That would be a tough, if not impossible issue to solve.
Recently, a letter was written to Universities and schools, warning them about bullying; The new federal guidelines to combat bullying make it clear that gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender students are protected, and schools could lose federal money for not protecting them.
"In extreme cases, schools could be stripped of their federal education monies if they don't comply with all of our civil rights laws," said Russlynn Ali, assistant secretary for civil rights. Also on the call were Arne Duncan, secretary of education, and White House Domestic Policy Council Director Melody Barnes. (CNNU.S.)
Also, individual states have begun to form their own laws concerning bullying in schools.
Maybe the Supreme Court will eventually have to rule on bullying. Maybe the school teachers and principals should be more aggressive and I know it does indeed take a village to mentor and rear children today, but ultimately it comes down to the parents.
Children bully for various reasons. They may do it to get attention or because they feel inadequate with their peers, but there could also be another reason. Children may bully because of what they hear and see at home. Parents may be fighting or arguing and perhaps they are even violent. Maybe parenting lessons need to be taught.
Research shows that 10 to 20 percent of children are at risk for exposure to domestic violence (Carlson, 2000). These findings translate into approximately 3.3 to 10 million children who witness the abuse of a parent or adult caregiver each year (Carlson, 1984; Straus and Gelles, 1990). This abuse is sometimes responsible for a child's anger feelings, which in turn, cause him to bully other children.
Teaching character and morals truly is the parent’s responsibility and while we could make laws and more laws, it isn’t really going to help until parents, family members, friends and teachers will assume some responsibility
The bottom line is that we all should be responsible for children. If we see a child being bullied, how could we stand by and not do anything? Weather we are a teacher, parent or citizen, common sense and morals should trump any other feelings and we should intervene. I know some of you may not agree with this because of law issues, etc.
I discovered a great web site that is both educational and helpful concerning bullying. It is unique because it contains separate sections for children and parents. The children’s section is really good because it explains why others bully and what he/she could do about it. Just go to http://kidshealth.org/kid/grow/school_stuff/bullies.html.
During his short time on earth, Rodemeyer made no secret of the harassment he endured. Earlier this month, he wrote on his blog, “”I always say how bullied I am, but no one listens. What do I have to do so people will listen to me?”
In the meantime, lets get to the heart of the problem and educate and encourage all of our children. They all belong to us.
“We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today.” ~Stacia Tauscher.
Sources:
(Dealing with Bullies (Nemours Foundation)
http://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/factsheets/domesticviolence.cfm
yahoo.com)
http://news.yahoo.com/lady-gaga-bullying-must-become-illegal-193211111.html
This Article has been viewed 343 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
Top-level comments on this article: (4 total)Oh yes, Lady Gaga -
I agree with everything you say in your article. The problem is people - and specifically the younger people - are not easily guided if they do not want to be. They see little wrong with tormenting someone. The difference is that the schools need to adopt a no tolerance policy - to make it known that no bullying or overt teasing or demeaning is permitted. From home parents should stay informed with their children and, at the start of bullying, seek the remedy the problem with the school itself. The involved kids and parents should be put on notice. This is what Amy has told me is required in our school systems - she's on Board of Ed. By no means will it stop everything, but it can go a long way to stopping it.
I agree with The Old Grey Mare. This issue is a serious one, and schools must institute a no tolerence policy. However, when you see politicians bullying (name calling and making fun of) other politicians, then you have modeling behavior in the government. So how could the people who do this behavior every election cycle, possibly be able to stop it?
School teachers, principles, and at every level act out this same behavior every week. When school rules are enforced, and students are protected by parents, and parents start setting a good example, then we will see progress. We, as a nation, cannot regulate (laws) moral behavior. Every time we try, we fail.
Fran, I agree parenting classes would be a good place to start, and I have said that before myself. Children are living in more and more dysfunctional homes. Our best bet is to help teach them about connecting with their future children, and that will help them connect better with their parents. I saw a special on 'cooking with kids', and then sitting down to a meal, at a HS Home EC class...those practical things, while teaching the importance of the family meal, talking, and not yelling, etc...How to handle money, etc.
A good example: Prohibition gave us an underground black market for alcohol. The repeal was necessary, to stop criminal behavior....however, they just moved into other criminal enterprises. The War On Drugs is another example, because trying to keep young people off of drugs was the reason to institute these laws; it did not work, and never will...it's a moral issue. If we outlaw bullying, it will get worse, so let's not go there.
I loved reading this, Fran. Bullying presses all my buttons, too, but I agree that you can't legislate against it. I believe we have to take some responsibility as individuals for the quality of society we live in, and it does start with parenting. I love what you say about getting involved. Not everybody is a parent, but everybody can behave like one. I know how I feel if somebody I don't even know defends me - I feel fantastic, and that life is a good thing.
While I agree with some of what you have said, I also believe that since bullying starts at home, the parents also need to be held accountable. It is our moral responsibility as parents to teach our children tolerance, acceptance, trust, friendship and the importance of respect for others. Unfortunately, the world seems to have gone soft on parenting. Years ago, if a child did this, they would be punished both at school and when they got home. Maybe it is time to re-take the reins and teach these kids respect and enforce it.
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