The Brave Little Girl Watching The World Ending But No One Could See Her
Posted: Thursday, April 14, 2011
by Fran Larson
http://www.franniesquotes.com/
The little girl had to step way up high on the bronze metal steps that led to the train. Daddy held her thin tiny hand, as she boarded. She loved riding the train. Daddy worked for the Atlantic Coast Line and he told her that the rides were always “free.”
She felt safe because Daddy worked for the train people and he knew everything about the train. The conductors would stop and talk to Daddy and he would always say¸”This is “Prissy,” my baby. The little girl didn’t understand because she knew she was a lot bigger than the babies she had seen.
She sat in the big maroon-colored seat and Daddy let the tiny figure sit by the window.
“Remember, I told you that your Grandma died? Today we are going to Jacksonville for her funeral.”
The little girl did not want to ask what a funeral was because Mommy said not to trouble Daddy about anything. Yesterday Daddy stayed in the bedroom for a long time and did not go to work.
When the little girl got to Jacksonville, Daddy said it was time to go to the funeral. When they got out of the car, the little girl remembered that Grandma had taken her to church there. People were washing each other’s feet and singing. Grandma whispered to her that she could go outside with her cousins and play. She said little girls couldn’t sit still for that many hours and there were 4 preachers all lined up to speak.
The little girl went inside the church and sat on a hard bench beside Daddy. She could see that some of her cousins were there but she didn’t know if they could play today or not.
Everyone began to sing. Daddy wasn’t singing. The little girl listened. After a while, Daddy said we should go look at Grandma. The little girl didn’t understand because her Sunday School teacher, Mrs. Wiliford told her that Grandma was already in heaven and was probably even an angel and that Grandma would never, ever be sad in heaven. That’s why the little girl didn’t cry.
On the way to “see Grandma, the little girl saw that not many people were singing anymore. They were crying. She had never seen Mamas and Daddies and big people cry. They cried really loud and they were saying things while they were crying.
The little girl walked down the aisle holding Daddy's hand and then she saw a big box that opened and Daddy said he would hold her up so that she could see Grandma. The little girl looked in the box and knew it was not Grandma. Grandma didn’t look scary and anyway she was already in heaven. Daddy didn’t know it because he wasn’t at Sunday School, but the little girl was sure that is where grandma was.
When Daddy gently placed the little girl back on her feet, she wished she could have stayed in his arms. The people that were crying were very loud and scary and the little girl thought maybe the world was coming to an end just like Mrs. Wiliford said would happen some day. She wished Daddy would hold her because the fire would be coming soon. Mrs. Wiliford said there would be “weeping and wailing” so the little girl knew for sure the world was ending.
Daddy led her to the hard benches again and she wondered if anyone could hear her heart beating. If they did, why didn’t they hug her, like Mommy does when she is scared? Mrs. Wiliford said God loved little children, so if God and Grandma could see her, why couldn’t the other people or Daddy see her or hear her heart beating? They didn’t even look at her. They just cried and hollered.
The little girl tried to be extra good, so that she wouldn’t be caught in the fire. She looked up at Daddy and noticed a big tear coming down his face. She had never seen Daddy cry and now she was really scared. Her hands and face felt funny and everyone looked so far away but she had to be good and brave. She didn’t know why her 2 sisters or Mommy did not come. No one told her and she didn’t want to be a bother.
If only Mommy was here and she could curl up in her lap and feel her arms around her, it would all seem better. Oh, how the little girl wished Mommy was here. She would know what to do. Her throat felt funny.
She looked in her little black paten-leather purse and pulled out a hankie that Aunt Christine had put in her purse. The little girl didn’t say anything but she lifted her small little hand that held the hankie and wiped Daddy’s tears away. Daddy didn’t say anything.
That was all the little girl knew to do for Daddy. She didn’t want him to cry.
The little girl is all grown now. It took her quite a few years to not be afraid of “funerals.” However, she knows her parents loved her and they did the best they could. They did not know she felt “invisible” that long-ago day. It was a different era. It was a time where children were “seen and not heard” and things were not always explained.
The grown up “little girl” was delighted when her daughter called and explained that Zach was going to a funeral and she was going to sit down and explain what funerals are all about. She couldn’t be more proud or happy about that.
This Article has been viewed 75 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
Top-level comments on this article: (6 total)Yes Fran, she was a brave little girl.
I am so glad the times have changed, Fran! I had several similar experiences when I was a child that would have been so much less frightening if someone had just explained to me what was going on. I vowed not to do that to my children. I think I succeeded. I hope so, anyway.
She was a brave little girl. I liked the way you wrote this piece Fran. It is funny the things we remember from our childhood. Communication is so important with children. Nice to see your children have learned that from you.
What an awful experience for a little girl, Fran. I'm glad you've managed to get over your fear of funerals, and well done for not passing it on to your children.
Fran, this is beautiful. You had me crying, smiling, and believe it or not, a brief giggle. My mom always explained everything. Some things, a little to early, I think. but she always said she never wanted us to fear the way she and so many did who grew up during this time. I think the most treasured memory your father had would be the day you wiped his tear. Even if never expressed. Thank you for sharing. There is so much one could learn and consider through this heart moving story. Blessings, Teresa
Wow, truly touching article Fran. I live in the deep south and here children are often still not seen or heard, and things still are not explained to them. It really bothers me I see it.
Beautiful article.
We want your comments! If you can read this, you don't have javascript enabled, so you can't use this comment system. Please enable javascript.