Stress:Is It Better To Bend, So You Don’t Break? Will You Break When You Experience A Crisis?
Posted: Friday, July 02, 2010
by Fran Larson
http://www.franniesquotes.com/
Better Bend than Break: A Scottish Proverb
The first time I ever heard this quote, I vividly remember. My mother had died a few days prior to this and I was heavy into mourning. My friend and I were sitting on the front steps and she said: " Better bend than break. " I did feel that I was at a breaking point, so I decided to bend.
You are probably wondering what does that mean when she decided to bend?
I decided to bend by letting myself cry and not be so brave. I decided to let myself grieve. Most of us know that if you do not grieve, you will never get over your loss. This morning process goes through many stages, denial, depression, anger and then acceptance and peace. I needed to allow myself this process, no matter how painful. I gradually began my " bending process " so I would not break. (I had four small children and could not afford to break).
All things must come to the soul from its roots, from where it is planted.
Saint Teresa of Avila
In order to allow myself to " bend. " I had to reach down deep to my spiritual roots and where my soul is planted. If I were a tree, my roots would be ultra-important because they would support me and carry nutrients from the soil to me. God game me nutrients (His word) that settled in my mind and soul to nourish me. God supported me like a tree trunk holds up the tree. How blessed was I. The healing began, as I let Gods word seep into my soul. He held me as my heart was breaking. I felt so guilty for the things I did not say to my mother, but I should have. (To this day, I wish I could just have a few minutes with her to tell her how much I love her).
I Came To Realize That The Real Magician Was Light Itself
Like the trees that thrive because they reach up to the sunshine (light), I came to realize that the great magician (God) was the light that I needed.
I knew, of course, that trees and plants had roots, stems, bark, branches and foliage that reached up toward the light. But I was coming to realize tha t the real magician was light itself . Edward Steichen
Friends Are Angels Who Lift Our Feet When Our Own Wings Have Trouble Remembering To Fly
I was at an Art Show on a beautiful fall day. I was still having " bad days " and on this particular day, it was a very bad day (grieving). Just when I thought I could not bear the grief one more minute, I saw my pastor through the thick crowd of art lovers.
" I'm so glad you are here today. I have something for you that I have been carrying around for quite some time. "
He handed me a very small book titled, " Good Grief. " The book helped me so much that I keep some copies on hand to help others who are grieving.
I had reached up toward the Light, The Real Magician and He had sent comfort through another person.
Friends Are Angels Who Lift Our Feet When Our Own Wings Have Trouble Remembering To Fly
This Article has been viewed 296 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
Top-level comments on this article: (2 total)I love that Scottish proverb, Fran. I know mourning is very painful, but it's worse if one doesn't do it, the grief eats away at one. Losing someone is so difficult, there's nothing you can do about the pain, just have to feel it.As for your mother, Fran, don't you think perhaps she can hear you now?
I'm always amazed how just the right person comes into your life at just the right time (like your pastor). It's hard to accept though, when people you care about have to leave. It would be interesting to hear what Greg has to say about the dream of your mother. It does sound wonderful Fran, and I have no doubt she's with you always.
We want your comments! If you can read this, you don't have javascript enabled, so you can't use this comment system. Please enable javascript.