How To Apologize Sincerely: 3 Tips from Tiger Woods Apology - Mend Relationships, Heal
Posted: Friday, February 19, 2010
by Fran Larson
http://www.franniesquotes.com/
Most Americans were watching television today when Tiger Woods made his public apology from the clubhouse at the TPC Sawgrass, home of the PGA tour. About 40 people were in the room, which included his mother and people he had worked with. His wife Elin was not present.
While some may not agree with me, I felt there was sincerity in Tiger's apology. I don't think that it is easy for him to show his feelings, judging from past history. He seems to be a private person and I understand that because that is what I am.
1. Admission of guilt.
One cannot truly be sorry for anything unless he first admits guilt. Tiger Woods certainly did that. He took full responsibility for his actions. This is what he said,
"I was unfaithful. I had affairs. I cheated. What I did was not acceptable," said Woods, looking composed and speaking in a steady voice.
2. Action speaks louder than words if one is sorry.
In his personal relationship with his wife, Tiger said his "real apology to her" would come by his actions, not his words.
This was the best part of this apology. Tiger admits he has a lot of work to do and that his apology (per Elin) will not be complete until his behavior has turned around.
So many things about writing that I have learned elude me. However, I always remember this statement, "show me, don't tell me." (Don't tell me the hero of a story is charming, wonderful, etc., but show me by the way he acts in the story.). This "don't tell me, show me" can definitely be aplied to an apology.
3. Do not make excuses for your actions.
An apology, followed by an excuse cancels out the apology. The person who is hurt does not deserve an excuse. Even if there really was something that caused the person to do what they did, (such as stress, pressure, etc), it is not the appropriate time to bring it up.
Tiger did the right thing. He did not make excuses, such as being a "sexual addict" or having to be too focused during childhood (on golf). Even though these two reasons could have been the two things that made Tiger do the things that he did, he did not bring them up. That took a real man to just be responsible for everything and not make excuses.
"An apology unfelt is no better than the original wrongful deed."Byron Pulsifer
I think Tiger Woods apology was sincere and one we will remember. It was not stiff.
"A stiff apology is a second insult... The injured party does not want to be compensated because he has been wronged; he wants to be healed because he has been hurt." Gilbert K. Chesterton
The Free Dictionary gives two meanings for an apology:
(1) To make an apology; acknowledge, and express regret for, a fault, wrong, etc. and (2) to make a formal defense in speech or writing
I think Tiger did make a complete and sincere apology. We can all learn from him. It is never too late to right the hurt you have caused other people.
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Top-level comments on this article: (7 total)I agree with you Fran that it is never too late; to right the hurt you have caused other people like he did.He is a fantastic athlete and I am looking forward to see him golf again
I can't comment on whether his apology was sincere or not, I didn't watch it. I think too much focus has been placed on his personal life, he's a golfer, not a God. He messed up big time, but that's between him, his wife and family, (and his sponsors of course). I agree with you though Fran, in our own lives, if we've wronged someone, it's never too late to try to make it right. Good article.
I have to agree with Brianna. I'm a little disgusted that so much media attention has been given to this incident. In my opinion, it falls under the heading of "gossip", not something that is newsworthy. Maybe if we would stop elevating our sports heroes to 'superstars', we wouldn't have to be disappointed when they turn out to be human, like the rest of us.
All of that is very true, unfortunately. Personally, I see it as a sad commentary on the attitude of too many people.
I didn't see his apology either. You have made some good points in this piece. We need to have "godly repentance" rather than worldly sorrow (sorry we got caught) and ask forgiveness from a humble heart - that's difficult but worth it. Marijo
Hi Fran I have always said don't do the crime if you can't do the time, nonetheless I hope things work out for all involvedKeep wellKacy
He's a great golfer, I hope he can put that greatness to work to repair the dammage to him and his family. Looks like he is really trying, I wish them both success whatever the outcome. That's a hards thing for any wife to overcome.I'm Rooting for the children and a family life if possible, this is a biggie on both sides. The news about it isn't helping, a lot of truth also a lot of exageration to sell the papers
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