How to Find and Recognize Real Love: Men Who Can’t Love: Why?
Posted: Monday, January 25, 2010
by Fran Larson
http://www.franniesquotes.com/
Some men can't love.
Before you men think I am picking on the opposite sex, I am writing this from a female point of view. There are many men out there who do know how to love – my husband, for sure.
When it comes to extra-marital affairs, research shows that men are motivated primarily by the lure of sex, whereas women trek outside the marriage to emotional neglect and the need for emotional intimacy.
Take for example, John Edwards, the newest icon of "bad boys" with an appearance of "squeaky clean," who allegedly sported a $1,250 haircut during the presidential race in 2004. He apparently is successful in his career.
We wonder how someone could cheat on his wife, and then lie about his love child. He has since admitted he is the Father of 2-year old Quinn, by his mistress, Rielle Hunter.
Edwards's wife, Elizabeth is suffering from terminal cancer. This fact alone tells me that he doesn't know how to love. The mother of his children should have some place in his heart.
Then there is Tiger Woods, who as we now know, allegedly had several mistresses. His behavior has been termed as the result of sexual addiction. (The term, sexual addiction is still being debated by the medical community. It is not listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. However, in all fairness, psychologists once perceived attention deficit disorder, as debatable, also).
How does a woman determine if her chosen spouse really knows how to love?
Here are some suggestions and hints to look for when choosing a man who really knows how to love.
1. Does he care about your spiritual side and try to support that part of you?
I am mentioning this first because I think it is the most important sign that he loves you.
Spiritual means of or pertaining to the intellectual and higher endowments of the mind; mental; intellectual (from self knowledge.com).
Your spiritual development is a life-long process and should be supported. He should care about your soul, your mind, and your relationship with God. Does he encourage you to grow spiritually, even if it is something that he doesn't believe?
2. Does he want you to achieve your goals in life?
It is not selfish for a woman to have career goals, or any other goal, for that matter. Is he your best cheerleader? Does he want to have children? (If he does not, do not talk him into it. However, that is something that needs to be settled before you marry or plan a life together.)
3. Does he celebrate you just the way you are now?
Does he think you are too fat, too skinny, too talkative, and too quiet? The bottom line is this: Does he really like who you are and let you be that person?
4. Is he your friend?
Is he your friend? If your spouse is your best friend, chances are your marriage or relationship with last the test of time.
Marcel Prolist, a French writer from 1871-1923 said, Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.
I challenge you to use these guidelines to select a life partner. Don't settle for less. It is better to be alone than to be in a loveless marriage.
Love yourself by following these guidelines and you will find a man who knows how to love
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Top-level comments on this article: (3 total)Hi Fran,Great article. Sounds to me like you were explaing Mark for me. He is my best friend and of course my wonderful husband. He meets all the criteria you listed. I believe I have a life time friend and partner in him.Blessings,Michelle
Appreciated this piece Fran. And we both need to give our hubby's a very special hug tonight,eh? Marijo
Great article. Wish that kind of subject be teach at school!
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