How To Have Good Manners: Your Pathway to Good Friends, Relationships and Success
Posted: Wednesday, January 20, 2010
by Fran Larson
http://www.franniesquotes.com/
Recently, my close-knit, delightful community turned into a battleground that seemed like a civil war. It has been going on for about 3 months now. Each "side" proclaiming their position, as the weeks morphed into months. I think now that the dust in beginning to clear and people are learning the truth, the battle will finally be over.
However, it didn't need to be a 3-month battle. It was all based on a woman's ire, which she took to several layers of rudeness. The rudeness she displayed took on a "mob syndrome" feeling. From there, it just got worse.
Going a step further, I think manners are just as important in a relationship as other things, such as truth and communication. Think about it. I have always said you could say anything, even drop dead, if you say it nice enough.
Having, conveyed how important I think manners are, I am proposing 3 thought-provoking tips for good manners they may assist you with every area of your life.
1. The first tip will also be the most important one. Make others feel comfortable and good.
For example, it could be debated if it is good manners to ask a person their age but how would that person feel if asked that question? I would say that most people, especially women would be uncomfortable, so therefore I would say it is bad manners to ask a female or male his/her age.
Emily Post said Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter which fork you use.
2. The second tip is ultra important. Be a good listener.
Have you ever been talking to someone and their eyes wander to another direction and you know they haven't the slightest notion of what you are talking about? It makes me so angry. Once again, manners are about feelings. When that happens to me, it makes me feel invisible, unimportant and ignored. Sometimes we have so much on our mind that it is hard to listen, but being able to listen intently when others are talking is indeed an important asset to any relationship.
3. The third tip is Be humble.
I am from the south and I think that this quality is really hammered in to us from the age of a toddler.
Oh Lord it's hard to be humble, when you're perfect in every way. I can't wait to look in the mirror, cause I get better looking each day. This song by Mac Davis has some truth in it.
In our society today, we are always being told to love ourselves, to have self-esteem and to constantly praise our children. I agree we do need these three things that I just mentioned but I also think we need to sprinkle those qualities with some humbleness. When you put others first sometimes and take a back seat, you may discover that you are very esteemed in that person's mind.
Humbleness is why a Mom is suddenly full when there is only one pork chop left. Humbleness is allowing another person to feel important, as they tell about their achievements, etc. Humbleness is a Dad letting his son win at checkers.
God commands us to be humble, as shown in the following scriptures.
For everyone that exalteth himself shall be humbled; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted. Luke 14: 11Happy are the meek, because they shall inherit the land Matthew 5:5.
I challenge every one of us to be more courteous and mindful of other people's feelings. You may be surprised at the doors it will open with friendships, relationships and careers.
~Eric Hoffer said, Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength.
Does getting older bother you, if so please read my newest article, How To Age Gracefully, Be Happy
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