The Day I Became A Statistic: A Short Story About How A Marriage Collapsed In A Nano Minute
Posted: Monday, December 07, 2009
by Fran Larson
http://www.franniesquotes.com/
How Why didn't I notice this? Why wasn't I paying attention? How can I put on a great dinner party and know every conversation that is being held? I was working furiously trying to make all the guests comfortable and most of all, seeing that everyone was having a good time.
A good time? Yes, apparently, my husband of twenty-two years was having a very good time at our party. Little did I know that he was huddled up in a corner talking to a blond half his age, about heaven only knows what.
Naturally, I was trying to be gracious and kind when I heard myself saying, "of course, dear."
I vaguely remember being introduced to her by the Averys',. I thanked Jean Avery for the daisies that she had already placed in a water-filled, light yellow vase. Jean was thoughtful that way.
"Beth, I'd like you to meet my niece, my favorite niece, Victoria Linder. We call her Vickey, for short."
I remember mumbling something like "it's a pleasure" while wondering if I was ever that young.
Her winsome smile produced beautiful straight white teeth something I had always wished for.
I could tell her hair was naturally blond. Her blue eyes glistened like some kind of rare gem and of course, she had a figure to die for.
"How sweeeet of you to let me come to one of your famous parties," Vickey cooed, as she offered to shake my hand.
Did she have to be charming, also?
I returned the handshake and asked my husband Dan to introduce her around and perhaps offer her a drink.
"Just make her feel welcome" I said as I waved him on.
This is where it all began at my own party.
I trusted Dan so much that when he began to work out at the YMCA and refuse to eat ice cream, I was thankful that at last, my nagging was paying off! Hooray, he would have a long, healthy life, after all.
Exercise did pay off for Dan. He looked ten years younger, especially after he decided getting a tan would go along with his new physique.
I was so happy that he was taking care of his body and so cheerful about it that when he asked if I minded if he played poker two nights a week at the club, I said, "Of course not, dear."
I used these two free nights to give myself a manicure, pedicure and once a month a hair coloring to cover my gray. I was determined to look good on a budget. I also kept up with my walking and step class. After all..Dan looked so renewed and I did want him to be proud of me.
Since Emily was born, it was tougher to drop those ten extra pounds. When you are forty-three, the pounds do not melt easily.
Yes, God had blessed us unexpectedly with beautiful Emily after twenty-one years of marriage and two teen-aged boys. Already, Emily was my beam of light that shone in the midst of the "empty next syndrome."
I examined her tiny face without touching it. I just stared at her perfect little ears that were flat to her face in order to show the main event, which was her penetrating brown eyes. I think she is an "old soul" that is here just to bring me sheer joy. When I see her eyes in a locked position, I wonder is she is thinking about some secret or phenomenon that only she knows?
I'm so glad that I have given up my career and can stay home with Emily. Now that I'm older, I can understand that playing with her and hearing her squeal with delight is much more fulfilling that having a perfectly clean house. I even welcome her little fingerprints as she creeps around the glass top coffee table while arching up her heels and toe-steps. She looks like a practicing ballerina.
Dan, being a seasoned Dad now knows that dinner time is her "fussy time." He cheerfully volunteers to take her for a walk in the stroller and give her apple juice and play "peek-a-boo."
I sometimes peek around the corner from my kitchen and catch that amusing and prideful look that only fathers can generate. Dan Terryman is a good man and devoted father.
That is why the next part of my story is so bizarre. It was the day I became a statistic. What was I doing? I don't remember.
I just remember the words "divorce" and "Vickey."
Those words sent me into a valley that I have never been in before.The curvy road was uphill all the way with detours that were unpredictable.
Most of all, the words, "can I do this alone" became exhausting as the recording ran through my mind non-stop.
Then I knew.
I could do it because I could. It wasn't the time to think about myself. I would win for Emily. I would not let her down. My teaching skills were out of the question, as I had let my certification expire. I didn't have the option of going back to school, After all, when Dan married Vickey, he took on the support of two small children and also had to pay me alimony and child support.
Dan was at the height of his career as the vice president of Terryman and Wade Construction Company. He employed Vickey as a representative for their new million dollar plus homes on Lake St Lucie. Dan also arranged for a nanny to stay on the premises for Vickey's two children Their new tri-level home on the Gulf of Mexico was always lively with parties and celebrations . There would be celebrations of new land for more construction: celebrations of making five times their quota on sales for that year and celebrations of bonuses and more bonuses.
Dan and Vickey were on top of a peak that seemed to get higher with each passing month.
Vickey matured into a beautiful young woman with social graces that would make you stand on your head, if she asked that of you.
She complemented Dan's youthful looks and experience with oozing savvy and charm. Her energy was endless.
Meanwhile, I partnered with my best friend, Josie to form "Doggone Years." It was our creation of a memory book for a dog, similar to a "baby book." It contained, topics such as "first tooth,"
first word" and well, you get the idea.
I worked at home on the computer that Dan had given me with always-happy Emily cooing in her jump chair or lying on her pink fleece blanket. The soul-mate she was, she knew to be content and help me along.
It was a slow process. We built and designed our own web site. We would give away prizes (on line) for pet picture contests. We used every available free web site for promotion that we could. We treated this business like a nine to five job and toiled every day for just a few sales.
I didn't want Dan to give me an unusual amount of money just because he was wealthy. If he didn't want me, I didn't want any favors from him. So, I only accepted enough for Emily and I for the bare essentials. I know that sounds silly, but you had to be in my position to understand the power of lost self esteem.
I was at the Post Office that fall morning mailing twelve books, which was our largest order that we had ever had in a month. I was frazzled, I was tired and precious Emily, in her stroller was so patient.
I put the eleven boxed books in the bottom wire part of the stroller leaving my hands available to box the other one. The lone book was placed in the tray part of the stroller, as I was carrying a purse and bottle of apple juice for Emily.
My purse was heavy and the apple juice was leaking on my skirt and to top in off, I ran out of boxes, so I had to purchase one box for the book and wrap it while at the post office. I don't know. I was just so busy and tired I was third in line. Emily and I were both hungry. I barely heard the deep voice, " Little one, that is not so good for you to chew on." I immediately cast my eyes on Emily who was happily chewing on the corner of the book that I was to box and mail today.
I felt my face flush and my last shred of patience just hanging on, barely.
"Oh, my sweet Emily, oh, no" I stuttered as I gently pulled the book away.
Emily had witnessed enough of this whole scene and burst out in heart-breaking tears. How could such a tiny thing cry so loudly?
The deep voice again said, "please, may I help you? I can hold the book while you comfort this little princess."
I just gave him a nod and whispered "OK as I picked up the slimy coated book and handed it to him. He had premature white hair and the kindest blue eyes I had ever seen. He didn't resort to wiping off the baby-seasoned book but held it as if it were a treasure of sorts. I picked Emily up and swayed her gently back and forth.
"I know darling, it's been a long morning. We'll be going home soon. I promise you." I held her tightly. She was MY treasure.
By the time I reached the clerk, I was able to put Emily back in the stroller with her apple juice.
She was forgiving. She was unflappable, as babies are.
I waited for the stranger to get through with his business and smiled as he walked toward me.
"I thank you so much."
He seemed unaware that I was there. He seemed to be deep in thought as he stared at the dog-eared wet book.
"Miss, may I have a word with you. I'm not trying to make advances on you. If we could just go over to that desk where people address their packages, I would like to say something."
That's the least I could do for this kind man.
He placed the book on the package desk and scanned over the pages. Like a doctor, he kept saying, "uh huh, uh huh."He held out his hand and pronounced, "Harold Handler, here."
I shook his hand.
"My name is Ann, Ann Terryman."
"I'll get right to the point. I started Handler Publishing Company about two years ago. We try to print books that are unusual; books that seem personal and down-home. I don't know any other way to say it. In other words, I guess you would say, unsophisticated, yet resourceful and a little zany. I am just talking too much. It's simple. Your book is a goldmine. I would like to publish it."
I became another statistic that day. I became a published co-author. I went on the Oprah show.
I looked at the vast audience, but didn't have any fear of speaking up for my book.
"People are so beaten down with the Iraq war, terrorists, not to mention crime. That is the reason pets have become so popular. They comfort us. They give us love. They give us self-esteem. They know far more than we think they do They know our moods, when we are ill and they give us more love than we can ever return." The audience cheered wildly.
"People of America, honor your pet by keeping a memory book. The dog-gone years' will allow you to always remember your pet long after he passes away", I announced.
Oprah coached Emily to hold up the beautifully bound book with a picture of Emily's new pet on the front.
"The golden retriever that graces the front page is named Sunny' because, indeed he brings sunshine to our life." I added, as Josie patted this beautiful animal that was also a guest on the show.
That day was a turning point in my life. I no longer heard that recording in my mind of "Can I do this alone?"
That day I became free.
Wait, there's more.
Meanwhile, it happened so fast.
The rate of interest went to 12.5%. Most people could not afford to buy new homes.
Dan went bankrupt. Poor Vickey was pregnant and stressed to the limit. They had to give up their beautiful home. Dan was being terribly edgy and unreasonable when he would come to visit Emily. I tried to comfort him. The look on his face changed from day to day. Emily sensed his uneasiness and fretted when he picked her up.
He became a different man than I ever knew. How could a lost fortune be so devastating? He had Emily. He had Vickey. He had two other grown children and one on the way. He had his health..
One Saturday when he came over, his shoulders were bent as if he were an old man and his face was smitten with hate and disgust He was spinning out of control. He could hardly function daily as he tried to look for work.
That Saturday I looked at him squarely in the face and asked, "Are you sorry?" Are you sorry that you left?"
I knew the answer. I knew what he couldn't say.
It's strange how a moment's decision or word can change you forever. If I hadn't said.show her around; ...if, if, if.
My heart was breaking. I was breaking. I heard myself scream over and over. I put my hands over my eyes. I couldn't look at this man any more this shell of a man I wanted to die..just die..I screamed again..
Sunny was licking me furiously. He barked and licked and barked and licked.what is wrong with this dog?
"Sunny, what is wrong with you? I'm trying to sleep."
"Oh, thank God, it was only a nightmare!"
Dan was already eating breakfast and reading the morning paper with Emily sitting comfortably in his lap.
"I will have to tell you what a horrible nightmare I had."
I began to tell the story of Vickey, the dinner party and my published book.
Dan looked up momentarily from his morning paper. He looked really endearing while holding Emily in his lap. Her tiny hands banged on the morning paper, then she laughed out loud at the sound that it made.
"Boy, I was a real jerk, wasn't I?"
copyright 2009 fran larson
This Article has been viewed 97 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
Top-level comments on this article: (3 total)I am lost;was it all a dream or did you reclaim the man who deserted you?
I'm not lost and I think it was a terrific read! You grabbed the reader and reeled her/him in! Marijo
Another great story, Fran. I hope you don't mind a bit of constructive criticism. I think if you went back and cleaned up some of the punctution, and format of paragraphs you'd have something here more than suitable for a short story contest.
We want your comments! If you can read this, you don't have javascript enabled, so you can't use this comment system. Please enable javascript.